The past year I tried not counting calories. Since my first master cleanse all I've done is gained weight. I don't know how much I weigh right now, but one look in the mirror tells me that I'm further away from my ultimate goal than I have been in a very long time.
The month of december was absolutely insane for me - without going into detail I'll just say that my life was uprooted and I lived in a hotel for the past 20 days with very little money for food. I still have my apartment, so I'm not in dire straits (yet) or anything, but there was a medical thing going on with a family member and I was (and still am) their caretaker.
For the past month I've been eating nearly only fast food because I have had no time or thought for myself. I sacrificed a hell of a lot to help my family and it's been very stressful. I haven't been to a gym in at least two months and the holidays are just awful when it comes to dieting... If I had to guess what weight I am now, I would say about 140lbs. And it kills me to type that number. I hate that fucking number.
I have a lot to say and a lot to work on. So I'm back. I may end up deleting my past posts and start anew or just make a new blog... Not sure yet. But I'm here now and everything will be okay
it has to be
5 comments:
I came back to blogging today as well :) Yours was the first post I clicked on.
Well done for caring for your family. I hope it doesn't become too overwhelming. Take care of yourself.
Merry Christmas x
Hey hun
I'm sorry to hear that things have been awful, it sounds like you've sacrificed a lot and struggled a lot.
I'm glad that you're back though - maybe a new blog is the answer, a fresh start is always nice - I tried that, but I came back to my home blog again because ultimately I couldn't pretend that the past hadn't happened - I needed to build and grow upon.
Whatever you decide, I send lots of love and hope
Ophelia xx
Honestly love, it's okay. Life happens sometimes and things like family and emergencies are more important than EDs...though I hope you have a very Merry Christmas :)
Heyy you're back! Yay :)
Sorry about your family and problems, its so good of you to give up so much for them, but I guess thaw what family is about!
140 isn't so bad, don't worry :) I'm sure you can loose it again :)
Merry Christmas! (is your aren't Christian then have a happy Sunday!)
Lottie x
KEMPER!
I honestly had thought you were dead. I'm so incredibly glad to see that you're not!
Everything will be ok in time. Deep breath, take some 'you time' and recharge your batteries before plunging back into the fray. Even freedivers have to breathe sometime!
xoxoxo
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